Peanut Allergy

This is a topic near and dear to my heart as Big One is allergic to peanuts.

At 20 months I gave her a peanut butter and honey uncrustables (first time - and last - I bought those things).  She nibbled at it, but really was not impressed.  Thank God.

Shortly after, we gave her Zyrtec for her seasonal allergies, bathed her, and put her to bed.

The next morning this is what I saw when I got her.  The next morning.

She looked pitiful.  And I was terrified as you can imagine.  We went to the pediatrician, got the blood test that took weeks to come back (positive), found an allergist, did the prick test (to also have it immediately pop positive).

Our life was immediately changed.

I cried.  A lot.  Mainly out of fear, partly out of selfishness.  How was I going to be able to keep her safe?  Was she going to be picked on?  Singled out?  No parent wants their child to feel different.  And then the reality of keeping peanut butter out of our home.  One of my favorite things in the world.  Peanut butter.  Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Peanut butter toast.  Peanut butter cookies.  Snickers.  Reese's peanut butter cups.  The list goes on.  And on.  And on.

And then the research began.  Trying to find yummy replacements.  I've done that.  It is fine.  I still miss some of my favorite things, mainly the baked goods.  Sometimes I will splurge when Big One goes to sleep for the night or have a treat when I'm out by myself.  But always wash hands and brush teeth immediately after.

My big concern right now is that Big One is too young to really understand her allergy.  She obviously has never really had peanuts (in any form).  She isn't even three years old.  She just doesn't get it.  A perfect example is that she came up to me about a week ago saying how much she looooved peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!  I explained to her (again) that she cannot eat them because peanuts make her very very sick.

But I'll be honest, unless you have been faced with it, or have really understanding people in your life, you just don't really get it.  You don't understand that every birthday party is usually more work for you because you need to ensure that all food and goodies are peanut free.  And if they aren't then you need to provide your own or deal with a toddler who wants XYZ and doesn't understand why she can't have cake or ice cream or whatever the goodie is.

Every time I leave Big One somewhere that I am not going to be there every second with her, I worry.  I have to explain to the caregiver about her allergy, leave her with Benedryl and her Epi Pens (and directions on how to use them properly).  Let me tell you how big our babysitter's eyes got explaining how to use the Epi Pen.  Sigh.  

What scares me the most?  School.  Big One will start Pre-School next fall.  I don't believe schools around here are peanut free.  I need to do more research but I believe that would mean a table off to the side.  As in segregated.   And too young to understand why.

A friend recently mentioned a conversation about this very subject and how upset parents were that they had to find other options for their children because their school was peanut free.  Some of the comments were pretty upsetting to me.  Someone actually said it was survival of the fittest.  Others said it was the parents' fault their child had the allergy.  I don't believe either of those statements.  But can you imagine how hurtful those comments are?  I would do anything to have Big One be normal.  And no one seems to be able to figure out the cause.

I hope the children of those parents learn to be more empathetic than their moms and dads.

I could go on and on... but at this point I'm just rambling.